“We are all so quick to jump on the band wagon…”

“People are scared, Father… that’s why they come”

“We have to be careful… we’ll fight. They have a big head start. They’re arming themselves with the most powerful weapon out there… devotion.”

 

Will alien (progress, science) kill us and religion save us? Or will it be the other way around?

Keep watchin’.

It's not like I invented electricity or discovered fire, and I am most likely stating the obvious here, but Americans do have a very serious (and quite alarming to be honest) problem with The S.E.X. (shhhhh). It seems. Just sayin'.
Am I right or am I right?
I AM right, RIGHT?
Right.

Sorry guys, Frenchie is lashing out on you again. But you had it comin'.

As some of you might already know, I loved LOVED Lars Von Trier's "Antichrist". Pure cinematographic genius. He got me at that first b&w sequence. Beautifully filmed and acted. For me, it was like Christmas in June.

I know exactly what is going through your mind: these French, all of 'em pervs. Care to guess what I am thinking right now? These Americans, all of'em prudes. Try and prove me wrong.

I will let this unsettling series of posters to promote the highly controverted movie "Antichrist", speak for itself.

Exhibits A-C = World Capital of Prudery
Exhibit D = France


Exhibit A
Huh?? Now you think you're in for an Animal-Planet-gone-horribly-bad documentary. Well played. It looks boring though. Snoozefest. I beg you, do NOT count me in.





Exhibit B
The famous we-can't-show-you-the-real-poster-so-here's-some-reviews poster. Lame. Thank GOD you didn't forget that red "18" (DANGER! BLOOD! DEATH! SEX!) warning. Bland.
"Strong real sex". Ah ah. Funny.





Exhibit C
This one's like, OK, this is Lars Von Trier, what did you expect?
Pure gibberish. You won't like! Unsettling. Puzzling. Don't go see it! Don't go! Horrifying. Disturbing. DON'T. GO. This poster is subliminally warning you that this is gonna be very, very weird for you moviegoer. The poster looks a little bit better than the previous two. We're getting there. Slowly.





Exhibit D
OK that's more like it. This is what you're in for, people.



At least this last one's eye-catching. And 100% French.

Why should we be ashamed of ourselves? Yes, we have actresses making faces of a very suspicious nature on our movie posters. This being said, Americans should be ashamed of themselves. Not us.

The falsely stuck-up and very much American attitude towards The S.E.X. in movies is quite laughable. And sad. Because THIS is what it's all about here. S.E.X. That's your problem. Not ours.

I'm even surprised no one even attempted to change the name of the film. I mean "ANTI" christ, anyone?? Oh cr*p. Problem #2: religion. Thank GOD no one mentioned the "R" word. Seriously though, where's Sarah Palin when we need her? And the Pope... what was HE doing?



Which brings me to the film itself...

I don't care about names. Even the biggest and most bankable star can end up in crappy feature films that flopped at the box office. It's been known to happen.
Besides, directors are human beings and as such they err (don't we all). Decision-making isn't always everyone's strong suit: believe it or not, even Hollywood's crème de la crème can make mistakes sometimes.
And although I do like a good story, it is rarely what makes me "tick" as a moviegoer. No offense to the writers out there.
Sorry to break it to you but acting, directing and script writing aren't everything, only pieces of the same puzzle.

The missing piece in my book? Cinematography.

I get off on exceptional visuals. Cinematography is my "thing". Whether it be on TV or in the movies, give me something beautiful to look at, and even if the rest doesn't measure up, cinematography will make everything at least a little bit better and I'll have the feeling of not having wasted my time (ah the frustration!). Cinematography can always save the day -and a film.

If it doesn't look too good, it can't be too good.

I want beautiful. I want visually-arresting and challenging.
Lucky me, I got all of that in Von Trier's latest film. A true gem of an exceptional and unseen-before beauty. Too bad a lot of people didn't (and refused to) see it that way. Maybe they closed their eyes when they shouldn't have. If you're one of those, let me ask you this: what the hell were you doing in a theater watching that film in the first place??

Cinematography is the one thing in "Antichrist" that should have taken the upper hand over everything else in reviews. Most of the times it didn't. Why? "Sex", "very graphic", "genital organs", "cutting", "insane", "Lars Von Trier".

The film is a piece of art. Beautiful. Original. Bold. Thought provoking. And like most pieces of art, misunderstood.

Misunderstood element #1: The gore / scary factor
We get our share of blood on a practically monthly basis thanks to the dozens of blood-thirsty horror flicks fanatics roaming the streets of Tinsel Town armed with nothing but a movie camera. What was different here? To be quite honest "Antichrist" ranks amongst the least bloody "horror" films ever to hit our movie theaters.
The Saw franchise is way more bloody and disturbing.
The Descent was 1000 times more scary.

Misunderstood element #2: The gut reaction factor
I heard some people got sick and threw up. I witnessed others leave the theater. Don't give me that. Why the hell do you go to the movies, then? To feel nothing? Is that what you're really looking for? Go back to your sandbox, play with your Barbies and Playdough. You're such a fake.
I go to movies to be moved, disgusted, scared out of my mind. Call me crazy, but I will NEVER EVER leave a movie theater because I feel sick or horrified. Au contraire my friends, if I do happen to feel that way, I call that a good sign. This being said, I'll gladly make an exception if the film is so exceptionally bad that neither acting, nor writing or photography can save it.
But last time I checked, "gory", "violent" and "graphic" were not synonyms for "bad" and "get up and leave the theater" in the Manual of the Moviegoer.
If you think you can't handle it, then don't go.

Misunderstood element #3: The sex factor
Yes, you could see his and hers. Anatomy 101. Big deal. That's like 15 seconds out of the 104 minutes of the film. Maybe it wasn't necessary, but that's part of Von Trier's "art". His vision. He put it there for a reason. He put it there regardless of people's anticipated (negative) reactions. And for this he deserves our deepest respect. At least this man's not a sellout. From the very first scene onward, you could tell "Antichrist" was going to be very graphic. Sexually explicit and visually arresting. Nothing you haven't seen before I assure you. Unless you've been living in a cave. Or on Mars.

Wake up. If there's ONE film you SHOULD absolutely see this year, it's "Antichrist".

Last but not least, let me thank that A-hole journalist whose aggressive behavior prevented Von Trier from explaining his vision at the film's press conference in Cannes last May. You are a disgrace to (y)our profession.


Yes, I am French. Yes, I am obsessed. Not with sex, dummy. With good cinema. Sue me.

STORY

The 23-year-old star also believes her hectic work schedule and the pressure of having to starting shooting her new TV show 'The Beautiful Life' - in which she plays a model - contributed to her hospitalistaion.

How stressful indeed.

The life of Mischa/any other young, wild and restless Hollywood star: going out, going out, going out... "working" (playing a MODEL = just standing there, showing your many "attributes", smiling stupidly)... going out, going out, going out... spending money... drinking... working (not too much)... self medicating... drinking, drinking, drinking, smoking... dentist... hospital, hospital, loony bin... working, drinking... Oscar...

What the HELL is she complaining about? At least the girl's got WORK. And she's financially secure.
Someone enlighten me: how can you be only 23 and already stressed out about your "hectic" life?


Hang on, it gets better. Next you'll learn about the real culprit in this story... why she got institutionalized hospitalized in the first place...

The former 'O.C.' actress - who was placed under involuntary psychiatric hold at Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Medical Center last month - has blamed the incident on an operation to remove wisdom teeth which went wrong.

Her nervous breakdown wasn't her fault. It was her teeth, see? Her WISDOM teeth.
They don't call them the wisdom teeth for nothing... Look at her now, she's a wreck. Why? Teeth gone, wisdom gone. And so that's why she snapped and went crazy.


And since we're into dental problems, let me ask you about YOUR own dental hygiene, just to be on the safe side here: do you wash your teeth three times a day like you're supposed to?
If your answer's NO, Houston we got a problem -or rather YOU have a problem.

Advice n°1: watch out for cavities.
Advice n°2: lay off the candies.
Advice n°3: keep a close eye on those wisdom teeth.

One simple reason why I would pry into your mouth like that is to warn you that you might end up like Mischa.



With a bad case of nervous breakdown.
SNAP (Crackle and Pop) and blame it on your teeth. You've got the "Mischa Syndrome"!!


Christ, just buy the girl a toothbrush (preemptive measure) and an anti-stress ball. And she's back on Hollywood's sidewalks top in no time.

How DID she?

She DARED!

She did NOT...?

Yes. Yes. She did.

She did WHAT?

She showed her B**BS BOOBS! (of course!! What ARE YOU? FRENCH?)


Once upon a time in Salem, witchcraft was considered a crime. Times have changed. In Hollywood now ladies, bare your breasts and you'll end up roasting on a stake graciously provided by our beloved press (our falsely offended beloved press, might I add, whose sole job these days seems to be fueling controversies all the while giving birth to a new breed of paranoïd Americans who feel like going to their safe place /that bunker in their basement whenever they feel like they are the victims of a boob attack).

My. Some people should really spend more time on French beaches. I mean it. It's only boobs. Besides it's not like everything is falling apart or she has a hairy chest.

Understand my surprise when I saw a link to the said ultra-shocking photoshoot on SF Gate.com, labeled "Very NSFW" (emphasis on the VERY, obviously).

SO VERY NSFW I'm sure you won't click it (you perv)


I, for one, am EXTREMELY curious as to know how we should label these CAUNSFW (completely and utterly not safe for work) pictures

You want more? Here's more: 1  2  3  4


Outrageous, no?

So why is it OK to look at these monster moobs, I ask you? Some might like, others might not. It's a question of personal taste. Yet... hmmmm... I didn't see no "Very NSFW" warning to go with these pictures... did you?


END DISCRIMINATION NOW!

As a moob detractor, part of my plan to solve our little problem here will be to launch a positive discrimination campaign to support boobs, in an effort to:
1) establish moobs/boobs equality
2) end hypocrisy

I will start with organizing seminars on French beaches in order to convince skeptics and moobs lovers out there that seeing a boob here and there is neither dramatic nor traumatic. Think of it as a chest. Chests are good. Right, ladies? Hairy chests, buffed up chests, tanned chests, sweaty chests, mooby chests (hell no)... bare chests?

Some things need to change. And some people need to stop freaking out about bare upper body parts. It is scary.

Just to make things clear: I am in no way advocating nudity or saying it is OK to bare whatever you like, whenever you like it. There's this thing -which I am fully aware of, French or not- called decency.

But come on, sometimes a boob is just a boob.

Funny how you realize things about certain people once they're gone. Too late that is. For one, you realize that you'll miss them.

I never really had a favorite male singer. Bands? Sure. I never even asked myself if I had a favorite male singer. I never realized I had one until Michael Jakson passed away last week. HE was my favorite male singer. It just hit me. Let's just say that I was unfaithful to him and to his music for a very long period of time. Too long as it happens. I 'woke up' too late (which, I hate to admit it, is not unusual for me).

Maybe I was too young -after all he reached the peak of his career around the time I was born. Besides I wasn't born in an English-speaking country, so I wasn't exactly 'equipped' to understand what he was saying and why in the first place. I didn't have the tools required to be able to relate properly to his music.
Maybe I was too immature for his songs.
Maybe I was too influenced by the media at the time to be able to appreciate the man and his music objectively without being brainwashed with all the rumors and controversies surrounding his life and career.

It makes me sound pretty foolish, saying this right now, after he passed away...
It's like "Oh yeah right, you're like millions of other people right now, everybody's an MJ fan"
"How couldn't you possibly know during all this time?"
My answer is I don't know. And it's not like that at all.

The only album I own is HIStory. I bought it when it came out. I missed all the live stuff of course, something that I've been regretting very deeply these past few days.

One thing I remember though is that I bought a postcard around the time Dangerous was released. It was the album cover. I was young. I kept it for a very long time in my diary. Didn't understand it or anything. I wasn't ready for him just yet. He was just that weird singer guy with a scary face, suspiciously touching his crotch and letting out little screams while dancing. I was blinded by the media and ended up missing all of his oeuvre -with the exception of Thriller and Billie Jean maybe, which, by the way, are not my favorite songs to this date.

Now I am ready for him. I understand. I can feel, hear and see the amazing performer that he was, still is and will always be without paying attention to the rest.
Better late than never. But still...  :'(

Live long, Moonwalker

From today's 'Daily Dish' on SF Gate:

________________________________

Efron Poses with Nude Model

"High School Musical" star Zac Efron is set to shock his fans by posing with a naked woman in an arty new photospread. (Click here for possibly NSFW pix.)

The actor agreed to roll around on the ground with a nude model as part of a session for the upcoming Interview magazine. In one shot, readers will be able to see the model's exposed right breast.

He says, "It was definitely different from anything I had ever done before."


________________________________


Call the police.

One thing that's always puzzled me is how Americans can be so insanely prude and very easily offended by (supposedly) NSFW material but at the same time be perfectly OK with watching night after night after night TV commercials about erectile dysfunction (among other things).

It is just a breast.
And it is art. The pictures are beautiful, in my opinion. People are making it sound like he should somehow be ashamed of that photoshoot. Like they're waiting for him to apologize. The sad thing is, he might end up doing just that.

Shock his fans? How so? I think you meant his fans' moms. And the only possible reaction to that series of photos is not shock but envy.
Most of his fans are teenage girls who probably dream about Zefron every single night and make it a ritual to kiss posters of his abs before going to bed. They're going to wish it was their boob that was on the picture (you heard me). As for the moms they will appear to be offended by the raciness of the shoot whereas in fact the true objects of their anger will be their beer-bellied, balding, wrinkled husbands. They too are going to wish they were the naked lady with Zefron. But they can't say that. Wouldn't be right.

Reminds me of the Janet-gate (aka the 'oops my booby is hanging out' incident).

I'm sure you didn't know it (and I'm pretty sure you won't be surprised either), but we've had the same 'problem' with not one but two of our very own actresses: Sophie Marceau and Elsa Zylberstein.

People didn't sue. They merely noticed in fact (thank you burst-shot photography) . The ones who did notice just laughed. And moved on.
French television didn't establish a 5-second delay rule just in case another actress decides to show her boob on TV.

Booby trap (DNSFW = definitely NSFW)

And don't plead the French-on-the-beach rule. Not our fault if you can't (or could but won't) go topless on your beaches.

I was wondering ...

Ha ha. You think I'm going to ask a serious question, dontcha?
You'd like that, wouldn'tcha?

Like some existential stuff or something? Weeeeeell, see, my blob blog is aaaaall about existential stuff -I am made of existential stuff MYSELF, 'K? I AM a VERY existential person. I EAT existential for BREAKFAST *shows teeth + groans*

Whoops. Sorry to disappoint. I just lied. You'll have to come back if you want 'serious'. I'm more into 'random' and 'not serious'. I am not an existential person. Only in my dreams. Sometimes I daydream. And all the existential stuff comes RIGHT OUT OF ME. Just like that. It feels weird. So THEN, I don't have no more existential stuff IN me. So I can't talk about existential stuff no more. I'm existential when I'm unconscious basically. Which kinda sucks. Whatever.

So like I said, I was wondering about something.

As you know, I am not a native English speaker, although I thought I had made myself pretty clear before I was conceived. I told my parents I-WANT-TO-BE-BORN-IN-THE-US. It was like talking to deaf people. They didn't listen (look where I am right now. Proof.)
And so as a non-native speaker, there are a number of words and expressions which my little French brain can't seem to process.

Like "bat sh*t crazy". WHY?

What the HELL does that mean? I mean I know what it means (not that stupid), but honestly I don't see where you're going with the strange word association.

I know what bat is -Batman, right? Blind black mouse-bird (also known as "mird") that flies at night, hovering over girls' hair, waiting for an opportunity to land on their heads and cling to their hair.
Sh*t = poop. That much I know -even though I don't know much.
Crazy. That's me on a good day. Slightly out there. Mad sometimes.

Let's now put the three words together -you'll see something is just NOT QUITE RIGHT.
Mird poop mad. Being mad like mird poop. LOL it kinda sounds like a weird tongue twister, doesn't it?
OK, but what the HELL does it mean? Is mird poop really mad? WTF. I thought it was greeeeeeeeen  0_o
I'm very confused now.

Origins?
Etymology?
From the Greek ... surm poet sod ... maybe?


Somebody please heeeeeeeeeeelp!!

Although here it's not the problem (not anymore anyway), I still don't understand why Showtime would (supposedly) have such a stupid 5-years-no-more rule for its programs -which by the way are undeniably the cream of the crop when it comes to television entertainment.

Why is that, you ask? Three words. Sex, violence, existential stuff. (Crap. That's four) = what we will never admit truly floats our boats. Like weeds and writing and people and kings. Oh and hummm good acting. And good everything else (music, cinematography, editing, quality storylines). Dexter, Californication, The Tudors, This American Life, Weeds and their latest little gem The United States of Tara. Need I say more?

BUT after Mama Chicken was given an additional 8 episodes to work with, sort of a gift from the network Gods, she's SCREWING IT ALL UP before our very eyes, just as the show is dangerously coming to an end.
Way to go Mama C.

Has ANYONE watched The L Word lately? Come on, you know you did -or wanted to  ^_^
In any case, nothing wrong with that. I know oh too well what goes on in people's minds when I mention that show. Good TV is good TV, no matter who's sleeping with whom. Fact.

If you had asked me last year what I thought about the very uncertain future of one of my favorite TV shows (namely TLW), I would have cursed. A LOT. You'd have had an earful, my friends.

Ask me now. See what happens. Different story. Water under the bridge.



Acting is starting to suck my socks off.

Storylines are dry and dull. Nothing interesting is really happening anymore -except maybe for the Tasha/Alice storyline, and on the off chance that something interesting does happen, well it just doesn't feel right.

It all feels rushed. Forced. Unnatural. Very un-L Word like.

Nikki. She's just empty. No acting skills whatsoever (that goes unfortunately for both the actress and her character) -hell the girl can't even make the "You're DEAD MEAT Schecter!" line sound right. Hopeless.

Kit. HIT. HIT. HIT. Some complained very early on about the fact that TLW was a cliché-d representation of the real lesbian world: lipstick lesbians everywhere, beautiful and rich, not exactly representative of the actual gay community. But listen to Kit for a second. Listen to the way she talks. SHE is the cliché. She's being made fun of. For Christ's sake, she even is cell-phone-retarded. Hel-loooooo! What's a text message?? WTF Mama C.
Yet the character had potential. She was OK in season 1, but then it all went downhill from there.
What's with trying to pair her up with 1) lesbian Papi, 2) FTM Ivan and last but not least 3) HIT's very own drag queen DJ -what's his name again? 5th Avenue? Sunset Boulevard? Santa Monica? Hell.
She's like ... well, what the hell is Kit still doing here? I mean the woman can act damn it, but she's never had one decent storyline in 6 years. Her lines are now tragically limited to monosyllabic words like 'Daaaaaaamn!', 'Uh-huh', 'Whooooot?' and 'Guuuuuuurl!'.

Oh and please, stop with the "You're DEAD MEAT, Schecter! DEAD MEAT!" and "I'm gonna f*cking kill you, Jenny!" or whatever. ENOUGH ALREADY. OK, we got it! Someone is going to kill Jenny. From the look of things, I wouldn't be surprised if it ended up being someone who (ha ha) never ever wished Jenny was dead.
And honestly, I don't give a rat's *ss who killed Jenny. This character was doomed anyway. Unstable element. I thought she would commit suicide. Whatever. Same outcome. She's dead.

Shenny. THIS was supposed to remain a fantasy. The relationship doesn't make any sense and there's absolutely no chemistry between the two characters. Jenny is like a timebomb about to explode. And Shane is obviously not ready for that. Whatever that is. So why? WHY?
Shane. How much more stupid can she get? She seems to have lost her free will completely, now she's just standing there. Being her sexy self. But doing nothing.

All in all, the only character who managed to retain its authenticity and complexity and to remain interesting is Jenny Schecter. She's the same biatch she was before. Scary. Neurotic. Insane. Evil. Calculating. Sneaky. She's still the one we love to hate.

As for the rest of the 'band', now they've turned (sadly) into 'the ones we hate to hate'. The L Word is turning into a ginormous clusterf*ck.

Also gone is one of the show's trademark -whether you are willing to admit it or not- the sex scenes (ask around). Buh-bye. Gone they are. Putting the somewhat (and arguable) graphic aspect aside, it was usually done with taste and most of the times it was beautifully filmed. The sexiness is gone. So is the hottttness. Gone.

In that, TLW is still no contender to its evil twin, Queer As Folk, but it's still getting worse. I tried to watch QAF. I thought it was only fair to give it a little try since I was already watching TLW. Try and see what was going on in the other team. As of today 'hate' is the first word that comes to mind. I can't remember one good thing about that show -I know that watching the pilot episode usually isn't a good indicator of the degree of crappiness of the said show but here, it unfortunately was. The acting was horrible, and the characters were like beasts cutsie little rabbits doing you-know-what like ALL-THE-TIME (left me to wonder if that's the image the show really wanted to convey to its audience) and, I might add, the scenes in question looked more like choreographies than actual real sex scenes. Like synchronized swimming.

What's sad is that the more I look at The L Word, the more its final season bears an uncomfortable resemblance to QAF's craptastic pilot episode. And I'm scared.
I hate watching bad TV, but what I hate even more is seeing a good show go down the toilet that way. Don't talk to me about any swan song. THIS is no swan song. THIS is murder. The swan is being flushed down the toilet by Mama Chicken and her team of incompetent Little Chickens.

Shame.

That exit they fed to us last night on CSI was too perfect.

Too Hollywood-y.
Too clean.
Too soapy.
Too OK.
Too happy.
Too much.

What was THAT in the end? I half expected his hat and their clothes to go flying from the 'intensity' of that kiss.

And he was smiling for crying out loud!

I was expecting something darker.
Something more faithful to the CSI tradition.
Something angrier.
Something with more (hidden) feelings -in the CSI tradition.
Something with more insight into Grissom's head. Maybe a scene that would show what he really felt -his job was his life, and you don't turn a page just like that, without putting up a fight -with yourself at least.

I wanted something with more Grissom in it. And I don't mean screen time -it's Grissom, he gets lots of screen time. I -like many others I suspect- expected more mystery, more of that disturbing close-up shots on the true victim in this episode: Grissom / William Petersen.


Very unmemorable exit.

A shame for a show of that stature.
Grissom was is one of the darkest, most complex and mysterious characters ever in the history of modern television.
He deserved better for his swan song.

They are SO pulling an X Files on us.

And we all know how that worked out. FYI, it didn't.

Money makes people greedy. The more you earn, the more you want to earn, the more mistakes you're bound to make in order to earn that extra dollar.

As great and successful as the CSI franchise might have proven to be over the span of almost a decade, they've made a lot of mistakes, the last one being the dumbest

Mistake #1: CSI: Miami
Mistake #2: David Caruso
Mistake #3: CSI: New York
Mistake #4: letting William Petersen, Grissom's blood, flesh and soul, AND the heart of CSI, GO. AND assuming that the show will go on and that the fans will follow. Like sheeps.

Very pretentious. Not to say risky. What they wouldn't do for that extra dollar, huh? Well, they AIN'T gonna get it.

TPTB, here's a warning. You'll be punished for that despicable greediness of yours. The second Grissom walks out the door of his sanctum (office if you prefer) you can say bye-bye to most of your audience.

You'll have the divorce papers on your desk by Friday morning, trust me. You're cheating on Grissom with another (albeit talented) man, and that's not right. Expecting us to act like nothing happened. Like that was gonna fly with US.

Grissom's shoes are very big ones to fill. Ain't no Lawrence what's-his-name going to change that.
No CSI without Grissom -everybody knows that the show might as well have been named "Grissom".


THANK BLOG you have other things going for you. That new girl. The mind blowing cinematography. The music.



But still ...

R.I.P. CSI. You'll be missed. Because you're dead meat.

"Participants were asked how often they watched any of more than 20 TV shows popular among teens at the time or which were found to have lots of sexual content. These included "Sex and the City," "That '70s Show" and "Friends."

Pregnancies were twice as common among those who said they watched such shows regularly ............"


FRIENDS??? SEXY???
Ah ah ah.
Why don't you say Friends is porn while you're at it, huh?

I see where you're going with that.
Friends taught me how to make babies, not speak English. Hell, no.
Grrrrreat TV show to make out to. Ooooooooh, YEEEEAAAAH!
Turn it up, babe! Can't hear Phoebe's 'Smelly Cat' song -now THAT is one hell of a BMS (Baby Making Song). Oh, and Joey -sexy thang that Joey! ROAWWWWR! Did you know he stuck his head inside a Thanksgiving turkey's butt once? WHAT a turn on, right? Can't you feel the baby making vibe that just filled the room?

Can't YOU?


Say hello to a not-so-new but oh-so-much-fun side of America ... sex, LOTS of sex (hallelujah) and an innocent looking box that shows funny pictures, oh and makes sounds too (yay!) Now you put those two together. Yes, The Sex and The TV, and see what happens ... bad things.

Television.
The source of all evils.

After save a horse, ride a cowboy, save teens (and babies), don't watch TV.

You're fat?
You're blind (or getting there)?
You're a sociopath?
You're isolated and lonely?
It's been years since you've experienced actual human contact?
You're in love with Dexter the serial killer and secretly dream of making the hot s- with him?
You get all excited (dare I say hot and bothered) when your 'friend' Mc Steamy get all steamy in the break room at Seattle Grace?
You can only reach 7th Heaven (telepathically) when you witness the G-Man getting some SOME?

Blame it on your TV.

Made in the USA (where else, really?), please welcome the latest in terms of television scapegoating:

You're a teen?
You're horny?
You're horny when you watch TV?
You're a horny teen who watches TV?
Watching TV makes you feel horny?
Watching TV makes you want to make babies with the first person who knocks on your door (friend's mother, pizzaman, mailman, FedEx guy/lady)?
You're pregnant?
Worst, you got pregnant WHILE watching America's favorite sexy TV show, 'Friends'?

Well why don't you ... BLAME IT ON YOUR TV? Huh? Why don't you? WHY-THE-HELL-NOT?

Simple.

Yes, simple, but not so fair.
Once again, when there's a problem, it's always because of TV, movies or the Interweb ... never people and their f* screw ups.
Milk's gone bad? Check your TV.

Besides, I thought oysters and chocolate were aphrodisiacs? Are you sure about TV?

"Still, U.S. teen pregnancies were on a 15-year decline until a 3 percent rise in 2006, the latest data available. Experts think that could just be a statistical blip.

And Albert noted the downward trend occurred as TV shows were becoming more sexualized, confirming that "it's not the only influence."

Damn right it's not.
Can you imagine if every American kid who watched TV (for how many hours a day again?) got (someone) pregnant? We'd have a serious problem.


Now let me get to THIS:

"With many schools not offering sex education, that leaves the media to serve as a sex educator ..."

RIGHT-THERE. You think this whole situation is NORMAL?

Television. TV. That doesn't sound right, does it? Not anymore. How about 'Sex For Dummies'? SFD? Shorter. Easier to remember. Or TelePorn, TelEvil, HornyTV?


Don't you think teens getting preggers MIGHT maybe / possibly / probably have SOMETHING to do with the very fact that some schools stubbornly refuse to give students sex ed classes?
And I'm speaking real and useful sex ed classes, not the 'abstinence-is-the-new-sex' kind. In case some hadn't noticed (or just used that mushy grey stuff they call their brains for a second), preaching this kind of stuff to 12-16 year olds is the BEST (you heard me) the very best way to make them want to try The Sex. Curiosity. Challenge. Everybody wants to taste the forbidden fruit, for the very reason that it is forbidden. Boys will be boys. Ask Adam and Eve. They're like experts in that department.

Speaking of Adam and Eve. They had The Sex, right? But there was no TV, right? So how did they - how come they - you know, DID IT? Oh, Blog. It was the apple, wasn't it? Aphrodisiac. Poisonous. Repeat after me POI-SO-NOUS. The Sex is bad. Remember this, kids.


"Media helps shape the social script for teenagers. Most parents know that."

OK, so where the hell are these so-called 'parents' who 'know THAT' when their teens are watching 'sexy television'? And getting pregnant in the process? Why don't we blame THEM for a change?


By the way, what the hell is sexy TV? How do you define 'SEXY' television?

Last year Sawyer and Kate made The Hot Sex while inside a prison cell right in the middle of a wet, muddy and not-so-clean jungle ... so LOST? Sexy or not?

How about our favorite G-Man, Greg House who might be the most perverted doctor you'll ever get to welcome inside your living room. Foul mouth who  loves prostitutes, talks only using sexual innuendos and lovingly considers his cane as a penile substitute (he refers to it as 'hard wood') ... does that really make House MD a sexy TV show? Oh oh but I know what that makes Greg House: a sexy doc. Did I mention that Greg House happens to be wayyy too hot for words? I'm sure I know for a fact that women got pregnant by just watching him on their kitchen TV's. Yeah, he's THAT good. It's like magical. BAM. Prego.

How explicit do TV shows have to be to be called 'sexy'? Anything is sexy, then. It's like art. Anyone can be an artist, no matter how ugly, no matter how subtle the 'art'. Anything can make you want to have babies when you think about it.

But still, if parents had THE talk with their kids -soon, a lot sooner than when they think it is appropriate / the right time (25? 30?), maybe this wouldn't happen. Let's face it, teens know a lot more about sex than their parents when they were the same age. So parents need to just go with the flow.


"For a kid who no one's talking to about sex, and then he watches sitcoms on TV where sex is presented as this is what the cool people do"

My point exactly. If teens don't have anyone to talk to about these things -not a parent, not even a teacher, why then would you blame it on the TV? It's way too easy. And sad. It's like you always have to find SOMETHING. Even if it's the most ridiculous and improbable thing you've ever heard of. Beats the hell out of recognizing that YOU might be the one to blame, that YOU could have done something to prevent this, doesn't it?

People bury their heads in the sand and then ask what the hell happened. That's not how it works.

A couple of things I don't get about the US:

1) how the hell does a developed (and supposedly 'evolved') country like the US have so many teen pregnancies?
2) how do you explain that people living in such a fundamentally puritan nation when it comes to sex the S-word, talk about The Sex so much and allow a record-breaking number of erectile dysfunction ads to be broadcast on TV?

Contradictory.

OK, imagine a convent (aka the US).
You know, that place where nuns live?
Nuns, you know, women who have made a vow of chastity = to not have sex (ever again)?
Posters of porn stars adorn every single wall of that convent. Nuns work on TV warning the population about erectile dysfunction. Yeah, that's their job.
Weird, right?
Welcome to the US.

Can't you see that something's wrong here?

For a start, why don't you try not to obsess about sex so much? That's your problem. STOP. It's driving everybody (you included) completely nuts. And I'm not only speaking about the S-word here. What about that word ... you know ... the one that starts with an -r and ends with -ace. Yeah, that's it. RACE (don't even go there).

OK, back to The Sex for a sec.

French have this reputation for being horny. Like all-the-time. I don't know who got this idea, but apparently they like The Sex. They do. A LOT. But who doesn't? You? Liars! You guys make it sound like you don't like it. I must have missed something. Are we not the same species?

By the way, I didn't know that sex was 'what cool people do'. Good one. I was drinking from my sexy TV show mug (yes, Friends) and you made milk come out of my nose. Funny. Very funny.
Sex is fun, great (need a picture?), and it's not only 'what cool people do'. It is what people do. Period. Why the hell do you always have to make things complicated. What's wrong with sex? It's natural. Isn't it? You make it sound like it's evil. It IS a natural human urge. Like eating or sleeping. We need it. All of us. Our bodies need it. We like it, too -most of us at least. It was even proved to be healthy. Nothing wrong with satisfying our needs, is there?

This being said don't get me wrong, I didn't say that teen pregnancies were good. But blaming TV is wrong. Always been, always will be.
Too early is NOT good, I am aware of that. Especially when it comes to bringing babies into this f* up world where sex is taboo and TV is evil. How fun indeed.


You're more than happy when TV acts as a substitute babysitter when you have somewhere to go, something to do, so why don't you cut TV some slack and start taking responsibility for the way you raise your kids?

You sure know how to badmouth TV, so why don't you use your mouth constructively for once?
If you don't want to be premature gramps, then just TALK to your kids. How f* hard is that?

I fly back to my nest, I fly back with my nuclear but everything is different.
So I wait ...

Oh, can't you feel my heart beat?

I wanna explode, watch me, I'm a lucky girl!

Don't mind, it's a common reaction,
And you tell me everything's all right.

I just want back in your head!

All these tapes in my head swirl around,
Keeping my vibe down.
All these thoughts in my head,
Wreaking havoc.

When I feel like this, when I get so into myself,
I lose track of where I'm going,
Lose track of how to get going again,
Feel myself slowing down,
Feel myself turning around ...
This life looks like a sentence though,
A constant game of falling short.
If you know, you know,
If you know, you know.

No one ever knows how I love you,
No one ever feels like I feel you,
No one understands the way you do.
I see thru you.

This voiceless cry of mercy won't let me be.
What can I do?

Please don't let me be misunderstood.

I don't wanna be part of the problem.
I try so hard to get roughed up.
Fists on up, it looks that easy!

If I only could make a deal with God, get him to swap our places ...

The lightning strikes, the pages keep on turning,
Help me to be strong, I'm floating in a sea of strange beliefs,
Where do I belong?

It's urgent, so urgent, so oh oh urgent!

Pain in my heart, just won't let me sleep ...

Like O, like H in your guts!

Rescue me!
Cause I need you by my side.
Come on and take my heart.

It's not easy, trying to understand how the world can be so cold, stealing the souls of men.

In the dark of the night,
Every time I turn the light,
I feel that darkness in heaven ...  in the dark of the night.

Sometimes it's hard but you gotta believe.
There's a better place.
The darkness will be gone,
Hold on to your faith, there will come a day.

When the dreams are done,
Look how the tears run through my eyes ...

______________________________________________

A mix of lyrics that say a lot about how I feel. And say it way better than I ever could.
I KNOW. Too much time on my hands. Whatevs. No one asked you to read ^_^

Oh, darkness filled the sky as pools of water filled your eyes
They sparkled like phosphorescence in the bay
Although our lips barely touched
I have never felt so much
And i’d really like to feel that way again
Oh , oh , when ?

I walk through the streets and memorize the city
I count every light until i reach the shore
Sometimes i close my eyes and you’re not very pretty
Sometimes i can’t believe i’ve had those thoughts
Before

We pulled a boat down to the dock and stole two steady oars
I pushed you off into the dark: acrisius favours
And from above the great abyss
You threw pennies in and wished for the feeling of wanting
Nothing more

Sometimes i close my eyes
And hope that i can keep away all the darkened skies

(Memorize The City, The Organ)


That song summarizes perfectly the way I feel right now (and felt at the time). About you know what (city).

This feeling that I suspect no one else will ever be able to understand. Or take away from me. However hard they try to 'put themselves in my shoes'. No matter how many days, or miles. Or how many pounds of cheese and bread. It's something that will NEVER go away.

FYI the part about the 'lips (that) barely touched' in the first verse is to be interpreted metaphorically.
Strange coincidence, the part referring to 'the bay', don't you think?

I was listening to it while on the train on my way to Paris this afternoon. And it hit me. That's The Song. As could be expected, it made me sad.
Again, as could be expected, I didn't feel a damn thing walking through the streets of this city. Why? Because it's not mine. Has it ever been?

For some, I 'have a problem'. I do. I do. Nothing that a shrink could help me with. Nothing that a couple of weeks in a rehab center would cure (I wish).

My problem is called withdrawal.
Not from booze or drugs or coffee or cigarettes.
From something deeper. Something stronger. Happiness. The feeling of fulfillment. Purpose. Completeness.
I can see what's lurking in the corner for me. The slow and painful (albeit symbolic) death of ME. Until I go back that is.

Or maybe I'm dramatizing a little. Truth be told, things could be a lot worse for me right now. Life is going pretty well.
Except for that 'insignificant-oh-you-will-get-over-it thing'. Which (truth be told) makes up 98% of my actual 'life', of who I am. See my problem right there?

Kill me now.


Joking. Obviously.

I don't wanna ___ hell, no (are you insane??!!)


How would I ever be able to feel that way again, then?

Now if you'll excuse me ...
I'll take my pennies,
Make my wish,
And close my eyes.

Wishing for the feeling of wanting nothing more.
And hoping I can keep away all the darkened skies.

Until I go back to you that is.





Oh, oh, when?

Time to spread the UHH love

Synth-pop-rock, an explosive mix giving each track an almost ethereal quality (reinforced by Grey and Hailey's voices) call it what you want, Common Reaction is pretty good for a debut album.

Uh Huh Her, a two-member baby band from LA kicks some serious ass, indeed.
And I know what I'm talking about (I do). I saw them in SF last November (yay me)

Since f* MTV doesn't allow people from Europe to listen to the album (one more reason for me to leave for the States), try HERE -I know, only 30 sec samples, but that's the best I could do.

Email me if you want need more 'Cuz I HAVE more.

Below is the video clip for Not A Love Song, the first single off of this new album

Journalist???!!!

OBVIOUSLY I chose the wrong career path.

I should have been a tennis player.

I would have been selected for the Olympic Games for sure.


And then ...


It's no myth. In many cultures sex is considered as a 'sport' -and every four years it (un)officially becomes one.
No gold medals, but a lot of behind-the-scenes fun apparently.

Selfish bastards.

What we wouldn't do for the sake of publicity ...


Oh and there's this too:



Mock covers. There's also one of The New Yorker --> "The New Dexter"

OK. Maybe a liiiiiittle too much. But Dexter's worth it. And Showtime's got like some of the best shows on TV right now.



With that much hype, season 3 better kick some ass.

HOLY CRAP! It works!

*insert happy happy happy me doing happy dance*


How do I know? Because that's what I've been doing for the past ... well, roughly 2 hours. Yeah. Downloading.

YouTube, MySpace. Videos, MP3's.


Oh my God Blog Blob!

*jumping up and down* Ouch. Never noticed that ceiling was so low *crap* Nevermind.


IT WORKS!

IT-SO-WORKS!


Whooops.
You'll never know what I'm talking about unless I explain what "IT" is, will you? You SO won't. You can't see me but I'm like lolling @ you right now.


*I gots teh pawaaaaaaaaaaaa!*


Watch it, now. I can see you drooling from where I am. Disgusting. You wanna know exactly what that most awesomest "IT" is, eh?


For all these years, I had been struggling with my FLV player, an heaven sent program called Audiograbber, an WAV/MP3 converter AND an iPod video converter, completely oblivious to the fact that THE solution to my nerve wrenching problems was RIGHT THERE.
On the Interweb.
I just needed to Google the right words that's all: MYSPACE-MUSIC-DOWNLOAD

First, I got THIS
and from there ... TA-DAAAAA 


One of the reasons why I don't like MySpace -other than I can't afford to LOVE MySpace -kind of afraid of what else (Interweb-related) will happen to my life if I even GO there, well I hate MySpace because it just WON'T LET ME DOWNLOAD THOSE DAMN SONGS!!!

Pirates, unite!!

FYI, now I love MySpace.


Also, you all probably knew about this site already (thanks for letting me know, btw 0_o) and so right now I must look like an ignorant and uncultured fool who 'finally got it'. Let me tell you something: I am not one of THEM. I'm just French. And we're always behind the times. We can't help it, it's in our nature.
But you know what they say, better late than never.


Damn. 3.26 AM. It's like 23 hours past my bedtime.

Gotta go!





PS: OK, just so you know, I was completely sober when I wrote this. I wouldn't do this to you -although that'd be kinda fun wouldn't it? Totally.
Hyper, but sober- no coke (I mean Coca Cola of course, and not white up my anatomically protuberant facial feature aka my nosy nose), no coffee either, or cookie. NO NUTHIN' *swear to blog*

This is *clears throat* educational post #4. Ta-daaaaa.

There won't be much of these on this blog.
So you might want to savor this one.
Just thought I'd warn you ;)



- crapartment

Crappy. Apartment. Merge the two --> CRAP-ARTMENT. There you go.




- music stick

Also commonly known as "a flute". Tracy Jordan. No doubt about it, that guy's got the smarts no brain.




- vacay

Abbrv fr "vacation"

Ex: "I'm going on vacay in New York next Sunday. Kiss-kiss darling!"
Très nouveaux riches, no? Like I'm rich, I'm famous, I have thousands of people who throw themselves at my feet for no apparent reason other than I'm so beautiful, rich and famous ... and I have the streetwise lingo down, man! I TOTALLY ROCK! *Hmmm no, you totally don't. But that's your problem. Not mine. You kinda sound like an idiot. A rich one, OK, but still an idiot. My two cents*




- bitch badge / tramp stamp

Back tattoo -courtesy of Weeds




- Mermex

Female Mexican immigrant smuggled by boat -courtesy of Weeds -again.
Yet an other combination of words: "mermaid" and "Mexican".
Not the kind of word I'd advise you use on a daily basis though.



Aaaaahhhh. I feel smarter already. Don't you?



OK. I'll shut up for now.

Finally ...



LINK

Now if you'll excuse me, I got some celebratin' to do


OK. Being broke errr *.....* I don't know *.....* how the hell I'm gonna pull this off. But I will. And I have to preorder it.

Yeah.

I need a job, don't I?

Yeah.

Shoot.